In evaluating something, what is important? Is it what your mind, your heart and your gut are telling you? Is it the feedback from an outside source: a boss, a friend, a family member, a critic or someone on social media?
An intriguing perspective is to examine the reason for asking for input from others. Is it to garner information in order to make a more informed decision? Is it to get approval or reassurance of being headed in the right direction? What is different between the two approaches? Does one demonstrate confidence? Does one focus on finding a solution? Does one suggest insecurity and a lack of believe in self? Is one about valuing the opinion of others above your own opinion?
Why are we seemingly more concerned about the opinions of others than our own? When did we learn that we must seek approval? Why are we suspicious of our own ideas and plans? Who decided, the infamous “they“, were the experts? Have you heard people say, in validation of their own comment, “well, they said ……..”? Why do so many defer to the views of others?
“Become independent of the good opinion of others and be free from the need for approval.” –Wayne Dyer
If we defer to the opinions of others, does that suggest their views are more important than our own? Is the approval we seek about the particular question we have or does it involve a deeper question? Are we really seeking validation of ourselves as a person? Do we think rejection of an idea is a rejection of ourselves? Do we need reassurance of our value to the world? Whose life is it, anyway?